Jesus, life is just unfair! For most jobs I am either too overqualified, or not qualified enough. I know that if I apply for a challenging job, I'll be squeezed again like a lime, working like a slave, without any personal freedom of expression or thought. It is a pity that I am not a pothead anymore, life was nicer then. I am just so freaking tired!

I applied for quite some jobs which seem ok, I got some "no"s, a few interviews and some haven't even bothered to answer. I am increasingly frustrated.

I recently was at an instituition which takes care of unemployed high professionals. Although they cannot really help me, as I am not unemployed yet, I took some counseling hours there to plan my next steps. It was kind of eerie, but very helpful. The most helpful thing was that I saw people like me (wearing expensive clothes, having their LV purses, tears in their eyes and CVs in their hands) in similar situations. I don't feel like an outcast anymore.

My two girlfriends - both highly qualified academics - have been jobless several times in the last few years and maybe THIS is what is wrong with me. My team colleague quit the job and spent some months on her boat in Scotland before returning as a freelance consultant, my other colleage vanished to South East Asia for a month and got "fixed" aesthetically (new eyes, botox, liposuction etc.) and returned as a new herself. Only I dumb soldier kept working for years on.

Maybe the 3-6 months on and off joblessness keeps them sane. You work like an animal, get pressed out, quit the job or get fired, recuperate being unemployed and then gain the energy again to take the next leap to be pressed out. Is this the normal labour life today, and I am the abnormal exception, because I was able to hold on to it for 7 or more years in a row without a proper vacation? Should I also change to work like generation précaire, being squeezed, drop out, blow up again, get squeezed again, drop out?

Honestly, I am scared as shit to get a new job. They will expect stuff from me, high motivation, high energy levels and I doubt that I am able to deliver it. Maybe the most reasonable thing right now to do would be unemployment. Though that seems not correct to do, it would probably be the wisest thing to do.